College Freshman’s Worst Nightmare Comes True

Nov 21, 2019

Freshmen have a lot to worry about. “What will I wear on my first day? Do we have assigned seats? What if I get lost? What if my roommate is a slob? What if my roommate hates me? When is lunch?” That’s not even including the topic of community bathrooms. “Do we have a bathroom schedule? What if I take longer than the 3 minutes assigned?” or the dreaded: “what if I clog the toilet?”

Well, this dreaded option was a reality for this poor University of Utah freshman; we’ll call her the anonymous pooper.

You read that right. Anonymous pooper, the poor soul, clogged the co-ed community toilet. She did what any sensible freshie would do when they can’t find a plunger and left it for the janitor to handle (no one wants to claim that thing). As if this could get any worse- there is a group message going off about said clogged toilet. #wasntme

The anxiety-ridden anonymous pooper is now panicking. Naturally, she sent out the last-resort SOS to mom.

At least she has a sense of humor.

Lucky for anonymous pooper, her mom had a solution other than transferring schools: Unicorn Gold (an odor eliminating spray with gold nanoparticles to completely eliminate odor, or in this case: multiple-day clogged-toilet stench). She sent a box of Unicorn Gold spray to the University, along with Squatty Potties (to ease that bathroom timing anxiety we talked about earlier). What a good mom.