Pinching a Loaf and Other Poophemisms

Nov 19, 2019

In polite company, we often use euphemisms (nice ways of saying something) when discussing sensitive subjects, such as death and sex. Loved ones don’t die; they “pass away.” The neighbors may be having sex with the windows open, but we prefer to say they’re “doing it.” Along those lines, one of the most uncomfortable subjects to discuss is the elimination of solid waste from the human body — what we at Squatty Potty politely refer to as “pooping.”

Because pooping is so common, and poop is so gross, it has become the butt of many jokes and puns and has inspired perhaps the largest collection of euphemisms related to any sensitive subject. You can find plenty of poop euphemism lists online. There’s even a book devoted to such euphemisms cleverly titled Poophemisms: Over 1737 Fun Ways To Talk About Taking a Poop.

In the spirit of maintaining an accurate archive, here are 60 of our favorites:

  1. Baking a loaf
  2. Baking brownies
  3. Building a log cabin
  4. Busting a grumpy
  5. Catching up on some reading
  6. Communing with nature
  7. Crowning
  8. Decorating the Oval Office
  9. Delivering a load
  10. Dirty bombing
  11. Dropping a biscuit in the basket
  12. Dropping a bomb/brick
  13. Dropping a duke
  14. Dropping anchor
  15. Dropping the kids off at the pool (note: there are both public and private pools)
  16. Evacuating the building
  17. Feeding the fish
  18. Going number two
  19. Greeting Mr. Hankey
  20. Growing a monkey tail
  21. Gotta go
  22. Having the squirts
  23. Heaving a Havana
  24. Killing the cobra
  25. Launching the torpedoes
  26. Laying cable
  27. Laying down some wolf bait
  28. Laying pipe
  29. Leaving a floater
  30. Letting loose
  31. Letting the dogs/hounds out
  32. Logging out
  33. Making a deposit at the porcelain bank
  34. Making fudge
  35. Making room for dessert
  36. Making sausage
  37. Making stinky
  38. Needing some alone time
  39. Opening the gates
  40. Paying off a loan
  41. Pinching a loaf
  42. Planting corn
  43. Prairie dogging
  44. Releasing the beast
  45. Releasing the hounds
  46. Releasing the Kraken
  47. Ripping a deuce
  48. Rolling a nut log
  49. Sawing logs
  50. Seeing a man about a horse
  51. Shooting the Hershey squirts
  52. Sinking the Bismarck
  53. Squeezing one out
  54. Stocking the pond
  55. Taking a load off your mind
  56. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
  57. Taking a dump
  58. Taking a seat on the porcelain throne
  59. Taking it to the hoop
  60. (Our personal favorite) Mind if I try your Squatty Potty?