In polite company, we often use euphemisms (nice ways of saying something) when discussing sensitive subjects, such as death and sex. Loved ones don’t die; they “pass away.” The neighbors may be having sex with the windows open, but we prefer to say they’re “doing it.” Along those lines, one of the most uncomfortable subjects to discuss is the elimination of solid waste from the human body — what we at Squatty Potty politely refer to as “pooping.”
Because pooping is so common, and poop is so gross, it has become the butt of many jokes and puns and has inspired perhaps the largest collection of euphemisms related to any sensitive subject. You can find plenty of poop euphemism lists online. There’s even a book devoted to such euphemisms cleverly titled Poophemisms: Over 1737 Fun Ways To Talk About Taking a Poop.
In the spirit of maintaining an accurate archive, here are 60 of our favorites:
- Baking a loaf
- Baking brownies
- Building a log cabin
- Busting a grumpy
- Catching up on some reading
- Communing with nature
- Crowning
- Decorating the Oval Office
- Delivering a load
- Dirty bombing
- Dropping a biscuit in the basket
- Dropping a bomb/brick
- Dropping a duke
- Dropping anchor
- Dropping the kids off at the pool (note: there are both public and private pools)
- Evacuating the building
- Feeding the fish
- Going number two
- Greeting Mr. Hankey
- Growing a monkey tail
- Gotta go
- Having the squirts
- Heaving a Havana
- Killing the cobra
- Launching the torpedoes
- Laying cable
- Laying down some wolf bait
- Laying pipe
- Leaving a floater
- Letting loose
- Letting the dogs/hounds out
- Logging out
- Making a deposit at the porcelain bank
- Making fudge
- Making room for dessert
- Making sausage
- Making stinky
- Needing some alone time
- Opening the gates
- Paying off a loan
- Pinching a loaf
- Planting corn
- Prairie dogging
- Releasing the beast
- Releasing the hounds
- Releasing the Kraken
- Ripping a deuce
- Rolling a nut log
- Sawing logs
- Seeing a man about a horse
- Shooting the Hershey squirts
- Sinking the Bismarck
- Squeezing one out
- Stocking the pond
- Taking a load off your mind
- Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
- Taking a dump
- Taking a seat on the porcelain throne
- Taking it to the hoop
- (Our personal favorite) Mind if I try your Squatty Potty?
