Everybody poops. But does everybody poop in the same amount of time? Hardly. Some people poop in the time it takes to read this sentence. Others can read this post in full, watch 34 TikToks, and send nine tweets all before getting off the pot.
While we want to say there’s no right or wrong amount of time to spend on the toilet, the truth is—there is a healthy range of time. Spoiler alert: if you find yourself actually making it through the thinkpiece on the rise and fall of NFTs, you’re probably taking too long to take care of your business.
So, how long should it take to poop?
Experts agree that a healthy BM should take between ten seconds to one minute to complete. Lingering one to five minutes is also acceptable, assuming the shape of your poo is solid and feels fairly easy to pass. If you’re plopping down and plopping out in less than ten seconds, your #2 probably looks more like a #1, which means you might have diarrhea. If you need more than five minutes, and you’re not just skirting responsibilities or playing Wordle, you may be constipated.
The key to more efficient poops is to head to the bathroom as soon as you feel the urge to purge. When you get the telltale signs, that’s actually your colon muscles contracting to get your rectum’s attention. The message is that the sandwich you scarfed down yesterday has been fully digested, broken down, and is ready to pass. Now. Not after the next commercial break, not after your coffee, but right now.
Don’t dilly dally on your way to doo doo. Heeding the signals of your body is an easy way to ensure you’re pooping according to plan. And as long as you pass that sandwich in a few minutes or less, you’ve got no reason to sweat the stool stuff.
How can I spend less time on the toilet?
Regularity is everything. The healthier and more consistent your diet, the more predictable your poop schedule will be. Exercising, eating fiber-rich foods, sleeping well and practicing safe pooping—aka utilizing a Squatty Potty to make the process easier on the body—will get you into the healthy range.
The shape of your poo is also a good indication that you're on a healthy poop schedule. If your poop is solid and loglike with cracks, it will be easy to pass. The more constipated you are, the firmer your stool, and the harder your rectal muscles will have to work to drop that deuce. Who wants to work out muscles you can’t even see?
Try timing your next poop to see how you fare. If it’s outside the normal range, some of the above habits, like a diet change or workout, can help nudge you back on track.
How does Squatty Potty help?
When you sit on a regular toilet seat with your feet flat on the floor, you actually add an extra kink to your rectal muscles, creating a hurdle that your colon has to push the stool over in order to evacuate it from your body. Over time, the added strain on your muscles can lead to difficulty pooping, chronic constipation, hemorrhoids and more.
Correcting your angles by stepping on a Squatty Potty unkinks the pipes and allows humans to poop without added exertion. It turns the normal toilet—friend of no one’s bowels—into a friend for life. The more frequently you use a Squatty Potty, the more regular and well-timed your BMs will be.
When you’ve truly mastered your movements, consider investing in the Travel Porta Squatty. That way, when you go on the go, you don’t have to sacrifice your poop health. And poop health, friends, should never take a vacation.