Pinching a Loaf and Other Poophemisms

In polite company, we often use euphemisms (nice ways of saying something) when discussing sensitive subjects, such as death and sex. Loved ones don’t die; they “pass away.” The neighbors may be having sex with the windows open, but we prefer to say they’re “doing it.” Along those lines, one of the most uncomfortable subjects to discuss is the elimination of solid waste from the human body — what we at Squatty Potty politely refer to as “pooping.”

Because pooping is so common, and poop is so gross, it has become the butt of many jokes and puns and has inspired perhaps the largest collection of euphemisms related to any sensitive subject. You can find plenty of poop euphemism lists online. There’s even a book devoted to such euphemisms cleverly titled Poophemisms: Over 1737 Fun Ways To Talk About Taking a Poop.

In the spirit of maintaining an accurate archive, here are 60 of our favorites:

1. Baking a loaf
2. Baking brownies
3. Building a log cabin
4. Busting a grumpy
5. Catching up on some reading
6. Communing with nature
7. Crowning
8. Decorating the Oval Office
9. Delivering a load
10. Dirty bombing
11. Dropping a biscuit in the basket
12. Dropping a bomb/brick
13. Dropping a duke
14. Dropping anchor
15. Dropping the kids off at the pool (note: there are both public and private pools)
16. Evacuating the building
17. Feeding the fish
18. Going number two
19. Greeting Mr. Hankey
20. Growing a monkey tail
21. Gotta go
22. Having the squirts
23. Heaving a Havana
24. Killing the cobra
25. Launching the torpedoes
26. Laying cable
27. Laying down some wolf bait
28. Laying pipe
29. Leaving a floater
30. Letting loose
31. Letting the dogs/hounds out
32. Logging out
33. Making a deposit at the porcelain bank
34. Making fudge
35. Making room for dessert
36. Making sausage
37. Making stinky
38. Needing some alone time
39. Opening the gates
40. Paying off a loan
41. Pinching a loaf
42. Planting corn
43. Prairie dogging
44. Releasing the beast
45. Releasing the hounds
46. Releasing the Kraken
47. Ripping a deuce
48. Rolling a nut log
49. Sawing logs
50. Seeing a man about a horse
51. Shooting the Hershey squirts
52. Sinking the Bismarck
53. Squeezing one out
54. Stocking the pond
55. Taking a load off your mind
56. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
57. Taking a dump
58. Taking a seat on the porcelain throne
59. Taking it to the hoop
60. (Our personal favorite) Mind if I try your Squatty Potty?