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Doctors’ Best Home Remedies For Quick Constipation Relief
You know what they say, sh*t happens. But for over 42 million Americans, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s right; we’re talking about constipation. In our mission to help the world poop better, we’ve compiled a list of quick at-home remedies you can use to alleviate constipation and get on with your life. Implementing these solutions in addition to adopting a natural pooping position using a toilet stool can unclog your colon and get your bowels moving again. Shop Stools What is constipation? If we want to consult the dictionary, constipation is “a condition in which there is difficulty in emptying the bowels.” Simply put, constipation is the struggle to poop. Chances are it has affected you or a loved one at some point, so we’ve all had some experience with constipation in one form or another. Squatty Potty toilet stools are clinically proven to increase elimination and decrease strain. Most people don’t realize that pooping with your feet flat on the ground can cause a kink in your intestines, which can lead to significant blockage. Squatty Potty undoes this kink so you can do your business quickly and cleanly. Not sure which toilet stool is right for you? Use our guide to find the stool that best suits you. Find the Right Squatty Potty for You Meet the doctors We asked real doctors about natural home remedies for fast constipation relief. In this article, we have compiled their responses so you can better understand the causes of constipation, prevent the stomach aches caused by clogs, use strategies for relief, and learn when to seek medical attention. Kristin Struble, MD, FAAP Talar Tejirian, MD, FACS Dr. Keesha Ewers Marianne Ryan PT, OCS Dr. Edward F. Group III, DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM Debra Rose Wilson, PhD, MSN, RN, IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHT of Healthline What are the primary causes of constipation? There are many different causes of constipation. The most common cause is dietary, specifically not having enough fiber intake. However, there are many other causes and contributing factors when considering constipation, such as thyroid problems, diabetes, certain medications, increasing age, and not getting enough exercise. Here are the most common causes, according to our medical experts. Unbalanced Diet: Refined and processed foods and drinks, fried foods, and others that cause occasional constipation, when consumed excessively, can lead to chronic constipation.Dairy: Cow’s milk and dairy products are largely responsible for the epidemic of constipation we face in this country. Contrary to popular belief, our bones won’t crumble without them. In fact, studies show excluding them can actually make our bones stronger. Medications: Certain medications may cause chronic constipation. Be sure to read the side effects on labels. Medicines like aluminum-containing antacids, high blood pressure medications, antidepressants, anti-seizure medication, opioids like codeine and morphine, antihistamines like Claritan and Zyrtec, iron supplements, and anti-nausea medications can wreak havoc in your digestive system and cause constipation symptoms. ~Dr. Struble Physical Ailments: It is less common but still possible to have a physical problem involving the intestines, the anal and rectal area, or the muscles that control pooping. Adding to this are the incorrect bathroom habits that have become part of our culture that contribute to the countless people that suffer from constipation. ~Dr. TejirianDisorders such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), anal fissures or hemorrhoids, intestinal obstructions, and pelvic floor problems can also cause constipation. Constipation can also be caused by a variety of medicines, such as pain medication, antidepressants, and antacids.Poor Bathroom Habits: It’s important to go poop when you first have the urge. Delaying it causes more fluids (and salts) to be absorbed out of the stool in the lower intestine, so it just gets harder. Most people get constipated if they get too busy to go to the bathroom, especially kids. ~Healthline Another improper bathroom habit many people have is pooping with their feet flat on the floor. People were made to squat on the pot, not sit. Using a toilet stool to assume a squatting position can help you have easier, more satisfying eliminations. Shop Stools Hormones: Pregnant, menopausal, and postpartum women have higher hormone levels. These hormones, as well as poor diet and behaviors, incorrect defecation posture, and positioning can also contribute to constipation. ~Marianne Ryan PT, OCS Inactivity and Lack of Exercise: Staying active and fit is one of the best ways to prevent and relieve occasional constipation. Altered Bowel Habits: Holding in bowel movements or ignoring the urge to go is one of the most common causes of occasional constipation. Holding it in every once and a while won’t cause any long-term problems, but doing so frequently may be creating a bit of a traffic jam in your intestinal tract. Stress: If you don’t find a way to reduce your daily stress you may end up experiencing constipation. We all encounter stress throughout our day and react to it differently. Get the stress relief you need before it becomes a compounded problem. ~Dr. Group Constipation can have any number of root causes. A primary cause of constipation is a diet consisting of foods high in fat and sugar. This type of diet deprives the intestines of dietary fiber that helps promote bowel movements. Other dietary causes of constipation include not drinking enough fluids, or eating large amounts of dairy products. Summary Our doctors seem to have a consensus about the causes of constipation. We can sum up these causes as being related to the following: Diet Lifestyle/Exercise Medications/Diseases Poop posture One of the most important ways to prevent constipation is to increase fiber in your diet. Fiber is a carbohydrate that our bodies cannot digest, which is a good thing. Fiber is found in different amounts in all plants that we eat. It passes through our digestive system, absorbs water, and increases the bulk of our stool making it easier to have a bowel movement. Low fiber intake is the leading cause of most constipation and booty problems people experience. Keep in mind that fiber has even more benefits beyond improving bowel movements, including decreasing the risk for heart disease or type two diabetes, and helping you lose weight by making you feel fuller longer. Remember that your body needs at least 25-40 grams of fiber a day. People that constipate often need higher amounts.That said, the average American eats less than half the suggested daily intake of fiber. You should come up with a daily fiber plan that works for you and leads you to have bowel movements that are quick and easy. So how can you increase your daily fiber intake? The most obvious way is to eat more fruits and vegetables. If you find it difficult to eat a high-fiber diet (75% vegetables and fruits for meals and snacks), then adding a high-quality daily fiber supplement can help. It’ll be a welcome addition to your intestines. It is also important to make sure you drink plenty of water because adding fiber to your diet without adequate water can actually worsen constipation. Your body may produce more gas as you increase the fiber, so it is best to increase your daily fiber slowly. It may take a few weeks to reach your goal amount, but the benefits you will have at the end will be priceless. It is important to note that there is a difference between fiber and laxatives. Natural fiber acts as a bulking agent to help have smooth and easy bowel movements. There are many benefits to having a high-fiber diet. Laxatives, on the other hand, can increase bowel movements by stimulating the large intestine to move, drawing extra water into the large intestine, or acting as a lubricant to help the poop slide through more easily. Some foods, such as prunes, are packed with fiber, but they also stimulate the colon; therefore, it is this laxative effect that makes people have a bowel movement after eating prunes or drinking prune juice. Occasional use of small amounts of a laxative is typically not harmful, however, using them often can make you develop a dependence or have negative, even potentially dangerous complications. It is very important to discuss all changes in your diet or medications you plan to take with your doctor. At the same time as increasing fiber and water intake, you need to make sure you are pooping in the way our bodies were designed to poop. Putting a toilet stool under your feet while pooping can bring back the correct pooping position. Our bodies are meant to poop in a squatting position, as it straightens out our rectum, which is the final storage area of the poop. Straightening the rectum allows it to empty properly. This brings up your knees, puts you into more of a squatting position and helps you to more easily pass the stool, allowing it to flow out instead of having to push it out. Learn more about the benefits of toilet tools Finally, it is very important not to spend more than 1-2 minutes on the toilet. Make sure you only sit down on the toilet when the poop is ready to come out instead of sitting there and waiting for something to happen. ~Dr. Tejirian Eat More Foods High in Fiber: By increasing your intake of foods high in fiber, you can significantly reduce your chances of developing constipation and other colon-related problems. Drink Nutritional Fluids: Drinking purified water, green tea, organic/homemade fruit juices keeps your bowel lubricated. Exercise Regularly: The more you move, the more your bowels move. Stress Less: Mental strain can have a negative impact on your digestive system. Take some time off and do something for yourself. Squat More: The most effective and efficient way to poop is to position yourself in a natural squat with a toilet stool. Take a Probiotic Supplement: Probiotics will help introduce beneficial bacteria to your gut. ~Dr. Group Five simple tricks to help you avoid constipation Hydrate with at least 8 cups of water a day. Move your body every day. Get plenty of sleep. Spend time each day doing something that brings you joy and peace, such as meditation. Eat a whole foods diet that contains insoluble and soluble fiber, and at least 10 cups of vegetables that encompass the entire rainbow of color. ~Dr. Ewers The best way to prevent constipation is to first adopt healthy dietary habits. Drink enough fluids (8 glasses a day), eat fiber, and exercise regularly. Try to consume about 14 grams of fiber for every 1,000 calories. Poop when the urge comes, usually at the same time every day — most people go in the morning. Give yourself the time to poop. ~Healthline If you want to prevent constipation, make sure to eat a diet that is high in fiber and that you stay well hydrated. Regular exercise, like walking, has been shown to increase the movement of the bowels and prevents constipation. ~Marianne Ryan PT, OCS Once again, we see a pretty general consensus among our doctors. In order to increase elimination, try the following: Eat a healthy, balanced diet high in fiber Exercise regularly Stay hydrated Try to relieve stress Take a probiotic Poop in the proper posture with a toilet stool What are the most effective home remedies for better elimination? To help increase elimination, we’ve compiled 10 easy home remedies. Probiotics: Yogurt and kefir make for an excellent breakfast, whether consumed as is or mixed with your favorite breakfast cereal or grain-free granola. The probiotic strains of Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium encourage healthy bowels, which translate to easier evacuation. People who regularly consume probiotics enjoy increased frequency, better stool consistency, and a reduced digestive transit time. Water: Staying hydrated facilitates digestion and supports muscle function. When the body receives enough water, the digestive system can process nutrients and move wastes along smoothly. But how much water is enough? Always get a drink whenever you feel thirsty. Generally, you should divide your body weight in half, take that number and drink that many ounces of water. You may need to alter this based on your individual needs and activity level. Prune Juice and Prunes: Prunes are high in fiber and sorbitol, a carbohydrate the body digests slowly. As the fiber and sorbitol move along the intestines, they collect water which softens fecal matter. Start with an 8 oz glass of prune juice or 2-3 prunes. Give them a little time to work before trying more as too much fiber and sorbitol can cause bloating, gas, and diarrhea. Magnesium-Rich Foods: Magnesium is critical to muscle health and peristalsis, or the movement of food along the digestive tract. Low magnesium consumption has been associated with increased incidence of constipation. Adequate magnesium intake directs water to the bowels, keeping the stool soft and easier to move. Nuts, fish and green leafy vegetables like spinach are high in magnesium. Coffee: This morning brew, especially dark-roast coffee, stimulates digestion and contains fiber, oil, and water, all of which help keep the bowels moving. A cup or two will do the trick. Note that it isn’t recommended to use coffee as a continual solution to constipation. Baking Soda and Warm Water: Mix one teaspoon of baking soda in a quarter cup of warm water. Supposedly, this mixture should relieve pain and pressure associated with constipation, and the bicarbonate is believed to reduce the symptoms associated with heartburn. The faster you drink it up, the more effective it seems to be. Olive Oil: Try taking a tablespoon of olive oil before eating breakfast in the morning. As a nutrient-dense oil, it stimulates the digestive tract. It also lubricates the bowels and provides antioxidant protection at the same time. Beans: Rich in fiber, a meal containing beans shares many similar benefits as one containing prunes. Fiber keeps stool soft, and the protein has added benefits for the growth and repair of bodily tissues. Beans are also rich in nutrients essential for muscle health and function. Exercise: Movement encourages muscle health and stimulates digestion, so going for a walk after eating may help get things moving. For cases of occasional constipation, pelvic floor exercises have proven more effective than laxatives. Yoga, Pilates, and even running may encourage the movement of wastes along the intestinal tract. Use a Toilet Stool: Most people don’t realize, but pooping with your feet on the ground can cause a kink in your colon, which can lead to major blockage. Using a Squatty Potty stool helps undo this kink so you can do your business quickly and cleanly. Shop Stools Herbs: Flax seed, psyllium, and fenugreek are the herbs recommended to start with when it comes to fighting constipation. These are easier on the stomach and fall under the category of bulk laxatives. Purgative herbs such as senna, aloe, and buckthorn are also useful when it comes to constipation. Just keep in mind that these herbs are not for long-term use. ~Dr. Group You can attempt a dairy elimination diet, but you must do this for at least one month. While doing so, increase fiber with bulking laxatives like Citrucel, Metamucil and/or use an osmotic laxative like Miralax. The intestinal tract is lazy and stretched when one has suffered from constipation for an extended period of time. Therefore, your goal for stool consistency should be like soft-serve ice cream to allow the colon to shrink back to its original and natural size and also to allow the stretched nerves responsible for moving it along. It is important to have this stool consistency for at least a month, too. You can go up or down on the amount of these non-habit-forming laxatives depending on your stool consistency( too loose, decrease; not loose enough, increase). Once stools have been consistently loose, taper off the laxatives. You can experiment with adding dairy back (I don’t recommend milk in general), but if constipation creeps back in (hard balls, nuggets, straining to go, etc.), do your best to avoid it. Citrucel and Metamucil are fine to take on a regular basis for fiber sources, but more natural fiber can come from ground flax seeds and chia seeds. Again, avoiding highly processed foods-(i.e. anything made in a food processing lab that comes in bags or boxes like chips, granola bars, cookies, candy, protein bars, breakfast cereal, etc.), will help tremendously. Go for food from the earth like those that grow on trees and in the ground. Probiotics often can help some people achieve more regularity, too. ~Dr. Struble The self-massage for constipation is simple and easy to perform. It consists of circular motions applied over a path of approximately ten spots in your lower abdomen to help move the bowel content. Note: If you are a new mom and had a vaginal delivery, you can do this abdominal massage as early as a day or so after you delivered your child. However, if you had a cesarean section, you should wait for at least a month until your scars are well healed. In either case, it is best to wait until you have medical clearance from your doctor before doing this massage. How to do Abdominal Massage Lie down in a comfortable spot like your bed. Place a pillow beneath your knees. Place 2-3 fingers on the lower right side of your abdomen, over the first massage spot (see the illustration below), and gently apply constant and moderate pressure. If you experience pain, lighten the pressure. Maintain this pressure as you move your fingers in a clockwise, circular motion for approximately 10 seconds. Note: Do not use counterclockwise strokes. Move to the next massage spot and repeat as above. Gradually continue the clockwise massage circles up towards your rib cage, then across to the left side of your abdomen, and down to the inner left side of your pelvis. Each massage path should last a total of 1 minute. Repeat the entire massage path from your right side to your left side 3-4 times, once a day. ~Marianne Ryan PT, OCS Additional relief tips Try a belly self-massage with castor oil every morning. Triphala Plus 2 caps twice daily, Magnesium 2 caps every bedtime Use a Squatty Potty to unkink your colon Avoid processed food, dairy, gluten, alcohol, processed foods, caffeine, and sugar Eat 1-2 TBSP of ground flax seeds daily The best remedy for most people is to increase the intake of dietary fiber and water. Drink warm fluids such as coffee in the morning. This helps increase the muscle contractions that move digested food through your intestines, a process called peristalsis. Prunes are a good remedy and are recommended as a first option. Other good foods to treat constipation include uncooked vegetables, fruits, fruit juices, high-fiber cereals, and whole grains such as bran. Abdominal massage can be an effective treatment for chronic constipation, and it’s a good alternative to laxatives. Biofeedback therapy has been found to reduce constipation in 70 percent of patients. Biofeedback training teaches you to relax pelvic floor muscles while pushing. Your doctor can refer you to a therapist for training. You can also find instructional videos online for both abdominal massage and biofeedback. ~Healthline In addition to these elimination solutions, toilet stools are proven to help you enjoy more satisfying poops and alleviate downstairs bathroom issues. Propping your legs up on a bathroom stool allows your colon to straighten, providing extra space for your poop to exit smoother and more pleasurably. Shop Stools Summary Our panel of doctors have a variety of home remedies you can try. The most common remedies were related to the following: Add some constipation-fighting foods and supplements to your diet, including those high in fiber, magnesium, and probiotics. Give yourself a massage. Avoid highly processed foods and dairy. Be active and regularly exercise. Elevate your feet on a Squatty Potty to poop from a squatting position. When should I seek medical attention? Make sure the medical intervention is with a functional medicine provider. Otherwise, you will just get a prescription for a laxative. Seek medical attention if: You have not passed a bowel movement in over three days There is blood in your stool You are having other symptoms such as abdominal pain, cramping, bloating, and gas. ~Dr. Ewers People, especially older adults, often believe they are constipated when they aren’t. Bowel habits do change with age. The normal range for bowel movements can be from three times per day to three times per week. If you believe you have chronic constipation, consult your doctor for diagnosis and treatment. Call your doctor if: Constipation has persisted more than three weeks and you’re going three times a week or less. Your stool is hard and difficult to pass. You’re losing weight without trying. You have severe pain with defecation. You have blood in your stool. If you’re eating healthy and exercising regularly, but constipation symptoms persist, you might want to see your doctor to rule out more serious conditions like colorectal cancer or colon inertia. Your doctor may suggest medication to help overcome occasional constipation. ~Healthline Even though many people’s constipation is not a sign of an underlying problem, sometimes it can be. Therefore it is important to see your doctor with all your health concerns. You should never be embarrassed to discuss constipation, problems pooping, or booty problems with your doctor. Seeing a physician knowledgeable about these problems to discuss your symptoms and get a good exam is invaluable. There are some symptoms that may require additional investigating or testing. These symptoms include a change in your bowel habits (such as thinning stool, constipation, diarrhea),, blood in the stool, any problems in the anal area such as pain, bleeding, itching or a mass, no improvement in constipation with fiber and water, weight loss, or abdominal pain. Basically, anything that is a new or different problem needs to be discussed with your doctor. Additionally, if your doctor gives you a treatment plan that doesn’t work, then you need to report back and let her or him know. ~Dr. Tejirian All of these are urgent reasons to visit a health care professional: If you or your family member have large stools (common clue: often large enough to clog the toilet) If you are constantly straining to go If with wiping blood is seen on the toilet paper or in poop If stool consistently becomes pencil-shaped or watery diarrhea If the stool turns black or white If unintentional weight loss occurs If chronic abdominal pain is affecting your quality of life If you experience severe abdominal pain, especially if it is intense enough to make you doubled over with pain, or accompanied by vomiting (green vomit in particular), seek urgent medical attention. ~Dr. Struble Summary If you are occasionally struggling to poop, try some of these home remedies. If your constipation problems are more severe and associated with intense pain, or if you see blood or strange colors in your stools, it’s probably time to seek medical attention. The Final Turd They say the best defense is a strong offense. Preventing constipation is always easier than treating it. If you find yourself in the painful clutches of constipation, try some of these home remedies for fast relief. Implementing these quick and easy tricks can help you avoid irregular bowel movements and prolonged constipation problems. In addition to consuming healthy foods and drinks, regular exercise, and assuming a squatting position with a toilet stool, can help increase elimination and make better bathroom habits. Doctor’s orders. Shop Stools DISCLAIMER: As always, seek the advice of your own qualified physician or other healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding symptoms or a medical condition.
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5 Problems With Sitting On Your Toilet
Whether you’re already a believer in the benefits of squatting to eliminate, or you’ve stumbled onto this site as your first introduction to the whole concept, here’s the low-down on why squatting to poop is in your best interest and why using the Squatty Potty® is the most convenient and effective way to improve your bathroom posture. HEALTH PROFESSIONALS KNOW THE BENEFITS OF SQUATTING TO ELIMINATE Medical doctors, naturopaths, and assorted holistic health professionals have pointed out the hazards of the modern toilet for years. There is empirical evidence that elevating your feet during elimination is healthier. The modern day toilet is convenient, but has one major fault; it requires us to sit. While sitting to do our business may be considered “civilized”, studies show the natural squat position improves our ability to eliminate. Better elimination may decrease many modern day ailments including bloating, straining, hemorrhoids and constipation. UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM Primary (simple) constipation is a consequence of habitual bowel elimination on common toilet seats. A considerable proportion of the population with normal bowel movement frequency has difficulty emptying their bowels, the principal cause of which is the obstructive nature of the recto-anal angle and its association with the sitting posture normally used in defecation. FIX THE PROBLEM The alignment of the anorectal angle associated with squatting permits smooth bowel elimination. This prevents excessive straining with the potential for resultant damage to the recto-anal region and, possibly, to the colon and other organs. There is no evidence that habitual bowel elimination at a given time each day contributes considerably to the final act of rectal emptying. The natural behavior to empty the bowels in response to a strong defecation reflex alleviates bowel emptying by means of the recto anal inhibitory reflex. THE ONLY NATURAL DEFECATION POSTURE FOR A HUMAN BEING IS SQUATTING 5 PROBLEMS WITH SITTING ON YOUR TOILET 1. CONSTIPATION The National Institutes of Health (NIH) defines constipation as having fewer than three bowel movements per seven days. According to the NIH about four million Americans suffer from constipation. Are you one of these people? Do you know someone who is? One of the biggest obstacles to your success may be not realizing you’re constipated in the first place. The bowel is the body’s main elimination organ, yet amongst many Americans today, this central elimination system is compromised, as evidenced by high rates of constipation. The National Institutes of Health estimates that 4-10 million Americans have chronic constipation (defined as having a bowel movement less than three times per week), and as many as 63 million people are suffering at any time from occasional constipation. Squatty Potty® toilet stools create healthy toilet posture to relieve and prevent constipation in the following ways: In the squatting position, gravity does most of the work. The weight of the torso presses against the thighs and naturally compresses the colon. Gentle pressure from the diaphragm supplements the force of gravity. Squatting relaxes the puborectalis muscle, allowing the anorectal angle to straighten and the bowel to empty completely. Squatting lifts the sigmoid colon to unlock the “kink” at the entrance to the rectum. This kink also helps prevent incontinence, by taking some of the pressure off the puborectalis muscle. The colon is equipped with an inlet valve (the ileocecal valve) and an outlet valve (the puborectalis muscle). Squatting simultaneously closes the inlet valve, to keep the small intestine clean, and opens the outlet valve, to allow wastes to pass freely. The sitting position defeats the purpose of both valves, making elimination difficult and incomplete, and soiling the small intestine. 2. HEMORRHOIDS Hemorrhoids (HEM-uh-roids) are swollen and inflamed veins in your anus and lower rectum. When we’re standing or sitting the bend, called the anorectal angle, is kinked which puts upward pressure on the rectum and keeps the feces inside. The sitting posture actually keeps us in ‘continence mode’. We thank our lucky stars for this muscle when we don’t want to go but when we need to go, and sit on our toilet to do it – it sure makes elimination difficult and incomplete, creating the need to STRAIN. By age 50, about half of adults have had to deal with the itching, discomfort and bleeding that can signal the presence of hemorrhoids. The veins around your anus tend to stretch under pressure and may bulge or swell. Swollen veins — hemorrhoids — can develop from an increase in pressure in the lower rectum. THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT HEMORRHOIDS… Hemorrhoids can heal without relapse when the squat posture is adopted for bowel movements. 3. COLON DISEASE Eliminating completely and often helps maintain good colon health. Many studies point to fecal buildup in the colon as a cause of diseases including colon cancer. And when there is buildup in the colon, our bodies can’t absorb all the nutrients from the food we eat, leaving us without the energy we could enjoy if our colons were healthy. 4. URINARY DIFFICULTY/INFECTIONS Urinary flow is usually stronger and easier when women squat to urinate. The bladder is emptied more completely when squatting rather than sitting or “hovering”. Squatting can help reduce episodes of urinary tract infections in both frequency and intensity. Now, that is good news! 5. PELVIC FLOOR ISSUES A 2008 study by Kaiser Permanente published in Obstetrics & Gynecology found that one-third of women suffer from one or more pelvic floor disorders. In addition, aging, obesity, and childbirth increase the likelihood of experiencing these issues. Although pelvic floor disorders are more common in women, men also suffer from similar symptoms; the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey reports that nearly one in every five men ages 60 and older experience incontinence. A network of ligaments, muscles and connective tissues, the pelvic floor acts as a “hammock” to support the pelvic organs, including the bladder and rectum – and in women, the uterus and vagina. Pelvic floor disorders, also called pelvic floor dysfunction, occur in both men and women when muscles and nerves in this area become damaged or weakened, causing the pelvic organs to prolapse (drop), which can lead to symptoms such as constipation and fecal and urinary incontinence. “Most pelvic floor disorders are tied to the de-evolution of our normal evolutionary biology,” said Dr. Jack Kruse, optimal health coach and Nashville, Tenn.-based neurosurgeon specializing in treating chronic pain, neck pain and back pain. “By correcting our bathroom posture, the Squatty Potty can be a huge help to people suffering from these health problems. Not only is the Squatty Potty aesthetically pleasing, but it also makes a tremendous amount of sense with how we should eliminate.” SQUATTY POTTY IS THE SIMPLE SOLUTIONAll these problems, and more, can be helped with the use of the Squatty Potty®. This innovative, health-giving toilet stool is easy to use and highly effective in positioning the colon for effortless bowel movements. Unlike other contraptions you may have tried to assist in achieving a simulated or full squatting position over your toilet, the Squatty Potty mimics a natural squat posture, is ergonomic, comfortable, sturdy, convenient and affordable. It even slides out of the way under your toilet when not in use.
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The Squatty Potty Story
The Squatty Potty Story begins at the home of the Edwards Family — Bill, Judy, and their son Bobby, the inventors and creators of Squatty Potty toilet stools and the owners of Squatty Potty, LLC, a small family business in Saint George, Utah. Although the family had always been very health conscious, they were dealing with some problems that most families are too embarrassed to discuss — constipation and hemorrhoids. In 2010, in search of relief, Judy Edwards consulted a therapist, who suggested that squatting might improve her condition by helping to relax her colon. Though unaccustomed to the practice of squatting to poop, Judy was desperate to try anything, and squatting did seem to be the more natural way to do one’s business. After all, people had been squatting to poop since the dawn of humanity, and three quarters of the world’s population still swear by it.As would be the case, Judy’s home in southern Utah was equipped with a modern, western-style toilet. While she found relief with the squatting position — raising her feet on a step stool while sitting on the toilet — it was very awkward and uncomfortable. Short of strapping on stilts, she tried everything to place herself in the proper position to ease her discomfort — different step stools, books, buckets, and other easily procured household items. One was too high, another was too low, and none of them felt just right. The clutter also blocked the path to the most urgently needed household appliance, resulting in numerous incidents of stubbed toes, especially in the middle of the night. Fortunately, about 35 years before this story began, Judy had given birth to a baby boy, Bobby Edwards, whom Judy and Bill raised to become a successful designer and contractor. When Bobby caught wind of his mother’s plight, he quickly realized that the standard stepstool could be redesigned. Working in the family’s garage, Bobby built several prototypes until he found one that worked — a platform of optimum height and width for assuming the squatting position and U-shaped to tuck conveniently out of the way when not in use. The device worked so well, the Edwards built several more to give to friends and family at Christmas, and the gift was such a hit, Bobby launched a website in 2011 and started marketing and selling the product online. Squatty Potty was born. Online sales were a resounding success, with the home-based business grossing over $1 million in its first year. In that year, the Edwards had shipped their product to every state in the U.S. along with 17 other countries. In 2012, shortly after moving production from their garage to a local warehouse, the “Dr. Oz” show called. Bill Edwards answered and thought it was a prank call from one of his kids, but he soon realized that the call was legit, and he shipped a Squatty Potty to the studio, so they could film the segment. When the segment aired, orders started pouring in. Sales doubled, tripled, quadrupled, quintupled, and even sextupled! The company scrambled to ramp up production to meet demands. By year’s end, the two-year-old company had racked up $2.7 million in sales.Sales plateaued in 2013, but picked up again in 2014 and soared in 2015 due to several fortuitous events: First, Howard Stern started talking up the product after first using it in December of 2013. He’s been a proponent of stooping to poop ever since. Then, Squatty Potty was featured on season 6 of Shark Tank with the Edwards accepting a $350,000 investment in exchange for a 10% stake in the company from Lori Greiner. Sales after the show aired where the highest of any product in Shark Tank history, with $1 million in sales the first night and $3 million in the three weeks after the show aired. Finally, in the autumn of 2015, the company released a video created by the Harmon Brothers that featured a unicorn squatting to poop out rainbow soft-serve ice cream. The video went viral with over 50 million views on Facebook and YouTube, and the company ended the year with over $15 million in sales. Of course, those are only a few highlights of the story of Squatty Potty, and the story continues. We’ll keep you posted.
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Squatty Potty 101: Adjusting to Having a Squatty Potty in Your Home
Since the time you were tall enough to try to flush your toys down the toilet, you’ve been trained to sit to poop. Now you find out that you’ve been doing it all wrong. As if dealing with that realization isn’t enough, you now have to retrain yourself, without the help of your misguided parents, to squat, instead. In place of the stepstool you used as a toddler to reach up to the toilet, you now have this gadget in your home that’s eerily similar but requires that you to squat down to the toilet. Before you start to think that the world has gone topsy-turvy, we have some advice to offer on how to adjust to your new Squatty Potty, and how to explain it to your friends and family. Getting Your Head in the Game You’ve been indoctrinated since a very early age by a cult of sit-poopers to poop a certain way; so don’t expect squatting to feel natural to you. If you’ve ever squatted to poop in the woods, that probably felt pretty cool, but squatting in a bathroom, even if the bathroom is equipped with a squat toilet, can feel awkward. Timing is Everything Accept the fact that you’re going to have some awkward moments, guys especially. When you wake up in the morning aiming at the ceiling, you may want to wait a few minutes and use your typical stand-and-shoot position to empty your water gun before squatting to drop your bombs. Fortunately for most guys, the bomb doors don’t need to be opened until later in the morning. Assuming the Position The good news is that you don’t have to squat entirely with a squatty potty. You can still sit. The Squatty Potty simply raises your legs to simulate squatting and put you in the proper position to deliver the package. Of course, if you want to do a bona fide squat, Squatty Potty can help with that, too. The objective is to achieve a position as close to a natural squat as possible by bringing your thighs up closer to your chest. Why, you ask? Well, that requires a brief lesson in human anatomy. Your body has been cleverly designed to give you the power to decide when to poop and when not to. Many people mistakenly believe that the sphincter muscle is the sole gatekeeper, but this is not so. Two additional obstacles stand between your poop and the pond below. First, near the end of the colon is a section called the sigmoid colon that has a natural kink in it — imagine a garden hose folded over to stop the water flowing through it. The kink must be released to allow the waste to flow freely. A second obstacle is the puborectalis muscle, which maintains a chokehold on the rectum. Only squatting, not sitting, fully relaxes this muscle to clear the pathway to the anus. This elegant design (or happenstance, depending on what you believe) has kept us from pooping while walking around while enabling us to squat and fully eliminate the solid waste from our bodies. Giving Yourself Ample Time to Adapt Becoming accustomed to squatting takes time, as many of our customers have noted. Be prepared to spend some time adapting to the following: Squatting tends to spread your cheeks, so to speak, removing another obstacle that stands in the way of your poop reaching its target; however, spread too far, and it can feel as though somebody jabbed a saber into your perineum. A shorter Squatty Potty usually solves this problem. Pants rolled down around the ankles can make it difficult to widen your stance sufficiently. If that’s the case, you may need to pull them up a little, keeping them below the knees, or you could always go au naturel the first few times. When your thighs are raised they no longer help to support you on the seat, placing additional pressure on your buns, which can cause discomfort for people with bony butts. Sadly, this just takes getting used to and is a minor issue compared to the many benefits of squatting. You may need to work on your aim; some customers have sprayed outside the target area while developing the necessary skill. Coming Clean with House Guests In addition to being a barely noticeable bathroom accessory, the Squatty Potty, when spotted, becomes a great conversation piece. The uninitiated may think, at first, that a nearby toddler is being potty trained. Others may think you use it as a stepstool to reach up to the ceiling or above the cabinets. Maybe they think you’re challenging your ability to aim from greater heights. If anyone asks about it, the most interesting response is to ask them what they think it’s for. (Please, please post their responses below!) If you’d prefer to avoid that discussion, another option is to come clean; tell them what it’s for, why you have it, and how it has impacted (or removed the impaction from) your life. Offer to let them take it for a spin. Heck, everybody poops, no secret there!
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Don’t Get Your Colon in a Knot: The Anxiety-Pooping Connection
Do you have trouble pooping whenever your routine is disrupted — when out of town for business or on vacation or even just when you’re away for the weekend, for example? If so, you’re not alone; by one estimate, 40 percent of people experience traveler’s constipation (i.e., difficulty in emptying the bowels while away from home). To the other extreme, many people get diarrhea when they’re nervous. In fact, anxiety to the point of fear may even cause a person to literally poop their pants. Of course, poop problems are often and primarily diet related (the quality and quantity of the food and beverages consumed), but it’s no surprise that your brain and your mindset play an important role in how well, or not so well, you poop. After all, your bowels and your brain are connected. Some doctors even refer to the gut as “the second brain” — an organ that can receive signals from and send signals to the brain. The connection is the enteric nervous system (ENS), a subdivision of the body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part of the nervous system that controls unconscious bodily functions, such as breathing, heartbeat, and digestion. The ENS division of the ANS directly controls the gastrointestinal system. So, even though nothing you are consciously thinking is at fault, the problem could still be all or mostly “in your head.” Although the problem may be in your head, the solution is likely to require attention to four areas: Diet Exercise Relaxation Squatting Diet and Nutrition The recipe for healthy pooping is almost cliché: Drink plenty of water and eat foods high in fiber. By “water,” we mean water without a whole lot of coffee or tea, alcohol, or sugary drinks (even fruit juice). By “foods high in fiber,” we mean fresh vegetables and fruits, nuts, and healthy whole grains. The idea here is to regulate the colon. While we often think of water and fiber as foods that loosen stools and make you empty your bowels more, regulating the colon can help to alleviate diarrhea, too. Caffeine, you may be surprised to know, is counterproductive, because it is a diuretic which dehydrates the body, and because it stimulates the hypersecretion of gastric acids. And alcohol — which a lot of us like to drink when we’re on vacation or with clients during an overnight business trip — is generally considered a toxic substance that irritates the bowel and can even trigger an attack of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Of course, if you have an acute bout of diarrhea or constipation, shifting from your normal diet can help: Diarrhea: If you have diarrhea, consider the BRAT diet — bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast, all of which have the effect of binding loose and runny stools. Yogurt may also help, making for a BRATY diet. Constipation: Fluids and fiber are your go-to foods for curing constipation. Legumes (beans, lentils, and peas), broccoli and spinach, nuts and seeds, berries, and most fruits (except bananas), are great choices. Chocolate may also help, but avoid cheese at all costs (because cheese is about as low in fiber as you can get). Exercise Exercise, or any physical activity, promotes overall health, including bowel health and activity. A sedentary lifestyle contributes to constipation by slowing the digestive system. Engaging in a consistent exercise routine, exercising at the same time every day, is best, even when you’re on the road. One caution: Strenuous exercise can lead to dehydration, so increase your water intake accordingly. Relaxation Stress and anxiety contribute to both constipation and diarrhea, so learn to stay relaxed throughout the day. We understand that life can be stressful and that you cannot possibly eliminate all the stressful situations (and people) in your life, but you can change the way you respond to stress. Practices such as mindfulness meditation are very helpful for throttling your stress response, because they train your mind to stay in the present instead of allowing regrets of the past or concerns about the future from triggering emotional reactions. Yoga, mindfulness, and other relaxation techniques are also helpful in eliciting the relaxation response — a psychological state of deep restorative rest that alleviates stress and anxiety and helps to regulate blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen consumption. Practicing Yoga or mindfulness meditation 15 to 20 minutes a day has proven useful for treating gastrointestinal disorders, as well, specifically IBS and inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). Squatting While most doctors provide much of the same advice we present in this post, few doctors focus on one of the most important factors that contribute to bowel regularity — posture. In fact, the Squatty Potty itself was conceived shortly after a therapist recommended to our founder’s mother that she try squatting to relieve her constipation. In other words, when you assume the position to ease your burden, “don’t sit, squat,” she was told. And the same goes for you… give your poop a free corridor to exit the building. Squatty Potty can help. And if you commonly suffer from traveler’s constipation, consider getting another Squatty Potty to take along with you — the Porta Squatty. The take-away lesson here is this: If you’re worried about pooping, stop. That worry and others could be contributing to your pooping problems, and that is something that we here at Squatty Potty cannot accept. We are committed to helping you eliminate your poop, and in so doing, rectify poop related issues. Instead of worrying, take steps to regulate your bowel movements — eat right, drink plenty of water, exercise, relax, and … squat!
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Restoring Intestinal Flora Leads to a Healthy Gut and Happy Poop
At Squatty Potty, we are committed to improving the pooping experience one stool at a time, but we realize that assuming the proper stance is only one of many factors that impact the outcome. Another key to consistently good movements is related to the microorganisms that live inside you, specifically those that reside in your intestines — collectively referred to as intestinal flora or gut bacteria. If you have any doubt about the importance of gut bacteria on colon health and, subsequently, on the squatting experience, consider this: One of the most promising treatments for ulcerative colitis, diverticulitis, irritable bowel syndrome, and Crohn’s Disease is the Fecal Microbiota Transplant (FMT), is a procedure in which healthy bacteria from a donor’s fecal matter (or sometimes just the donor’s fecal matter itself) is transferred to the gastrointestinal track of the recipient. This procedure has been most successful in treating people who have an overgrowth of Clostridium Difficile bacteria, (C. diff for short). Want to know more? Visit The Fecal Transplant Foundation online today. As it turns out, the average person lugs around about four pounds of gut bacteria, some harmful, some beneficial, some neutral. When the balance of beneficial and harmful bacteria get out of whack, the harmful bacteria proliferate like microscopic rabbits, the colon gets irritated, and you pay the price… in the bathroom, if you’re lucky enough to get there in time. While an overgrowth of harmful bacteria causes diarrhea, a scarcity of bacteria contributes to constipation. Unlike other components of stool, bacterial cells retain moisture. When your gastrointestinal tract has too few bacteria to loosen the feces and keep them moist, stools become dry, hard, and more difficult to pass. Although the treatments for chronic constipation and diarrhea vary depending on the cause, in many cases, the solution is the same — restore the healthy balance of intestinal flora, which calls for a three-pronged approach: Stop killing your intestinal flora. Reintroduce the beneficial bacteria whose populations have been decimated by antibiotics, poor diet, infection, or other causes. Feed the beneficial bacteria to enable them to crowd out the harmful critters. Stop Killing Your Intestinal Flora Assuming you were born vaginally, as opposed to caesarian, and were breast-fed, you inherited a healthy dose of beneficial intestinal flora from your mom. It was the best gift she could ever give you. An infant’s intestinal flora triggers early development of the immune system. A recent study conducted by researchers at NYU’s School of Medicine and Stanford University’s School of Medicine shows that the intestinal flora of infants born vaginally differs significantly from that of infants born caesarian, which may partially explain the increasing incidence of childhood asthma, allergy, and other illnesses related to the immune system. Since birth, your intestinal flora has been under siege. Antibiotics, in particular, can decimate gut bacteria, both harmful and beneficial, and alter the delicate balance of your intestinal flora. Environmental toxins, including pesticides, food additives, and chemicals in everything from the air we breathe and the water we drink to the household cleaners we use and the clothes we wear, can disturb the balance. Bacterial and viral infections of the gut can also disrupt the balance, increasing populations of harmful microbes while decreasing populations of beneficial microbes. The first step to restoring a healthy balance is to stop or at least reduce these attacks on your intestinal flora. Here are four suggestions: Find a doctor who fully appreciates the importance of gut bacteria on your health and is careful in prescribing antibiotics. If you’re not sure where to start, consider searching the Institute for Functional Medicines’ practitioner search tool. Functional Medicine doctors are like detectives — they like to get to the root cause of illness and know a lot about gut health. Eat a healthy diet, primarily plant-based, along with protein sources that haven’t been subjected to large doses of antibiotics (grass-fed beef, for example, and milk that’s free of antibiotics and growth hormone). Reduce or eliminate consumption of sugar and artificial sweeteners along with starchy foods (simple carbohydrates), such as wheat products, potatoes, rice, and high-glycemic fruits. Drink plenty of pure water — at least about two liters (a half gallon) a day. Reintroduce Beneficial Bacteria: Probiotics Although nothing can match the diversity of microorganisms you were given at birth and acquired throughout the course of your life, you can put your intestinal flora on the road to recovery through the use of probiotics — beneficial microorganisms (live bacteria and yeasts) found in certain foods, including: Yogurt Kefir Sauerkraut Also available as probiotic supplements in pill, powder, or pearl form Tip: If you’re taking a probiotic supplement, look for a quality product that contains at least five billion colony forming units (CFUs) containing lactobacillus and bifodobacterium. Other bacterial strains can be very helpful, as well, but these are the two biggies. Feed Your Beneficial Bacteria: Prebiotics A sick gut is often the product of an unhealthy diet, not just your diet, but the diet you feed the microorganisms in your gut. With probiotics, you merely plant the seeds. Prebiotics are the fertilizer — the “soil” conditioners — that enable the probiotics and other beneficial microbes already in your gut to flourish. Actually, prebiotics are plant fibers (consisting of soluble fiber and non-digestible sugars) that can travel down through the small intestine to the large intestine undigested and feed the beneficial bacteria that reside within the bowels. In a way, prebiotics are even more important than probiotics. With probiotics, you plant only a few strains of beneficial microbes in your gut. With prebiotics, you nourish the diverse collection of microbes that you have acquired via birth and through your many years of life. Combining pre- and probiotics is optimal, because the two work synergistically to boost populations of beneficial bacteria throughout your gut. If you eat a healthy high-fiber diet, you’re already doing plenty to feed your intestinal flora. If you’re not getting enough fiber in your diet, however, taking a prebiotic supplement may help. Keep in mind that nutrition is about more than just your body; you need to think about those trillions of hungry microbes in your gut, the microbes you literally cannot live without. Keep them healthy and they will reward you a trillion-fold. Tune in next week for more about pre- and probiotics. – – – – – – – – Disclaimer: This blog post on intestinal flora provides general information and discussion about medical issues and health-related subject matter. The words and other content provided in this post, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If you or any other person has a medical concern, consult with an appropriately licensed physician or other health care professional immediately and do not rely on the information presented in this post. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog post or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
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How Do You Clean Up after Pooping?
Prior to the turn of the new millennium, nearly everyone in the U.S. cleaned up after pooping in pretty much the same way — by wiping with toilet paper, front to back (especially for women). Admittedly, this post-poop protocol isn’t very thorough. After all, if you get chocolate on your fingers, you lick it off or wash your hands, because wiping with a napkin would leave sticky residue. Similarly, wiping your buns with toilet paper leaves a stinky residue, and licking isn’t the most appealing alternative. Perhaps the most appealing alternative is what people do in most other countries — use a bidet or a similar sink-like device to rinse with water or wash and rinse with soap and water. In recent years, people here in the U.S. started using wet wipes, which they probably learned to do after changing a few diapers. Hey, if it’s good enough for baby buns, it’s good enough for ours! Unfortunately, wet wipes tend to clog toilets and contribute to septic system failure, so someone invented the flushable wipe — one that’s supposed to dissolve after it’s flushed to make it safe for sewers and septic systems (Consumer Reports performed a test that proved otherwise). Another potential problem with wet wipes is that most contain soap and other chemicals that can irritate the sensitive skin of the nether region. Tip: To overcome issues with wet wipes, consider using Toilet Paper Foam by Squatty Potty. This includes witch hazel a astringent (a substance that causes the skin to contract), so it’s commonly used in hemorrhoid pads to shrink hemorrhoid tissues.
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Addressing Having to Poop When You’re Running or Walking
Have you ever had to poop when you’re out running or walking in an area where you couldn’t get to a restroom, porta-potty, or even a friend’s house? You’re not alone, as many runners and walkers have. Even the most seasoned of runners aren’t immune from soiling themselves during a race or training run — an incredibly gross and humiliating experience! In fact, at the 2016 Olympic Games at Rio, the current world-record holder for the 50 km walk race, Yohann Diniz of France, ‘had to go’ during the 50 km competition, an experience that ultimately contributed to him passing out near the 30 km mark, before finishing 8th overall in the race. Needing to go is also a very common experience as evidenced by a host of articles and online discussions about the topic and by the terms for describing it — runner’s trots and runner’s diarrhea (in extreme instances) and poop walk (where you squeeze your cheeks together and shuffle to “hold it in”). According to one review in The International SportMed Journal, various studies have shown that 30 to 83 percent of runners reported experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) distress, which can include diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, cramps, and even acid reflux while running. Another study found 93 percent of long-distance triathletes competing in extreme conditions experienced at least one symptom of GI distress. If we all pooped like unicorns, there wouldn’t be a problem. Nobody could possibly be offended by sweet tasting, rainbow-colored poop. Unfortunately, human poop isn’t as enticing. Exploring the causes Numerous factors are thought to contribute to gastrointestinal (GI) distress during periods of intense and extended physical activity, including the following: The physical jostling of internal organs and undigested food and liquids Decreased blood flow to the intestines as the body diverts blood from the intestines to the muscles being used to run or walk, leading to poor digestion and absorption Increased motility (muscle contraction in the GI tract) as exercise stimulates all muscles in your body Increased production of stress hormones and cytokines (inflammatory proteins), particularly prior to a race Increased mucosal permeability, leading to the contents of the GI tract leaking out into the rest of the body All of these factors contribute to looser stools and increased motility, which can result in an incontrollable urge to poop. And if you’re not at a convenient location to drop your runners shorts, and you don’t have some toilet paper to clean up afterwards, the added stress can make the problem even worse. Considering possible solutions Neither pooping your pants nor dropping your drawers outdoors is a pleasant experience, so how do you deal with the issue? Some runners recommend taking an antidiarrheal, such as Imodium, to plug themselves up prior to a run or race, an approach we don’t recommend. Running dehydrates you, which can contribute to constipation. Taking something like an antidiarrheal to harden your stools will exacerbate the problem. Try the solutions listed below instead, and then consult your doctor if you continue to have an overwhelming urge to poop that’s impairing your ability to perform at your best: Coordinate your poops and runs. Try to get on a regular schedule of eating, sleeping, running, and pooping. Regulating your diet and routines helps your body maintain a predictable pattern, and you’ll be less likely to get caught with your pants down. Time your meals. Stop eating three hours before you run or walk to give your body time to digest your food and possibly eliminate some waste. If you’re like most people, you tend to poop shortly after eating as your body tries to make room for more food. Be aware when taking NSAIDs, including aspirin and ibuprofen. NSAIDs (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) tend to increase mucosal permeability, contributing to GI distress. Watch your diet. Fat, fiber, chocolate, and sweets are all associated with GI distress while running. Avoid fatty, high-calorie meals at least three hours before a workout or race. Pack toilet paper. Stuff some toilet paper in a pocket or elsewhere. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Plan your route. You can’t do this during a race, but when you’re mapping you training or recreational route, trace a path that includes possible poop stops — restaurants, gas stations, the local library, friends’ houses, wooded lots, and so on, where you can poop in private. Alternatively, consider taking a warm-up jog near your home, so you can do your business before setting out on a longer run. Eliminate more completely prior to a run. Using a Squatty Potty stool, you can eliminate waste more completely prior to a run, thus reducing the amount of unpassed stool in your poop chute. And about that rainbow-colored unicorn poop mentioned at the outset of today’s post…Squatty Potty is now a proud sponsor of The Color Run, “the Happiest 5K on the Planet” — a unique paint race that celebrates health, happiness, and individuality. It’s the largest running series in the world, experienced by over six million runners in more than 35 countries around the globe. While you may not be able to poop rainbows, you will earn the Unicorn Medal upon completion of eight select Color Run races across the United States. For more info, visit: TheColorRun.com and look for the Squatty Potty logo on select 2017 Color Run race listings. – – – – – – – – Disclaimer: This blog post, which touches on issues related to gastrointestinal distress while engaged in running and/or walking activities, provides general information and discussion about medical issues and health-related subject matter. The words and other content provided in this post, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If you or any other person has a medical concern, consult with an appropriately licensed physician or other health care professional immediately and do not rely on the information presented in this post. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog post or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
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Pinching a Loaf and Other Poophemisms
In polite company, we often use euphemisms (nice ways of saying something) when discussing sensitive subjects, such as death and sex. Loved ones don’t die; they “pass away.” The neighbors may be having sex with the windows open, but we prefer to say they’re “doing it.” Along those lines, one of the most uncomfortable subjects to discuss is the elimination of solid waste from the human body — what we at Squatty Potty politely refer to as “pooping.” Because pooping is so common, and poop is so gross, it has become the butt of many jokes and puns and has inspired perhaps the largest collection of euphemisms related to any sensitive subject. You can find plenty of poop euphemism lists online. There’s even a book devoted to such euphemisms cleverly titled Poophemisms: Over 1737 Fun Ways To Talk About Taking a Poop. In the spirit of maintaining an accurate archive, here are 60 of our favorites: Baking a loaf Baking brownies Building a log cabin Busting a grumpy Catching up on some reading Communing with nature Crowning Decorating the Oval Office Delivering a load Dirty bombing Dropping a biscuit in the basket Dropping a bomb/brick Dropping a duke Dropping anchor Dropping the kids off at the pool (note: there are both public and private pools) Evacuating the building Feeding the fish Going number two Greeting Mr. Hankey Growing a monkey tail Gotta go Having the squirts Heaving a Havana Killing the cobra Launching the torpedoes Laying cable Laying down some wolf bait Laying pipe Leaving a floater Letting loose Letting the dogs/hounds out Logging out Making a deposit at the porcelain bank Making fudge Making room for dessert Making sausage Making stinky Needing some alone time Opening the gates Paying off a loan Pinching a loaf Planting corn Prairie dogging Releasing the beast Releasing the hounds Releasing the Kraken Ripping a deuce Rolling a nut log Sawing logs Seeing a man about a horse Shooting the Hershey squirts Sinking the Bismarck Squeezing one out Stocking the pond Taking a load off your mind Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl Taking a dump Taking a seat on the porcelain throne Taking it to the hoop (Our personal favorite) Mind if I try your Squatty Potty?
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